wandbreaker | (no subject)

All right, in honor of stories, and a certain blonde, needy young lady, and the fact that I spent a great majority of my weekend being tugged from place to place, here goes.

Once upon a time, because I'm told all great stories start that way, there was a King. This King was terribly handsome and clever, but he lacked in a great many things: ugliness, for one, but more importantly, he lacked in company. See the King wasn't one to scandalize anyone, because then his advisors (of whom there were many, and loud) would yell at him, and he wasn't keen on being yelled at by anyone.

Even Kings can't make everyone do as they're bid just to keep the peace (they call that war, Rosella, just so you know).

And so the King went into the woods one day and lo! He saw there a unicorn drinking from a fountain. Because the King was chaste (and also lonely) he could approach without getting gored (this is a feat for only the bravest of young men, unless you want to ride one, in which case I hear it says something entirely different about you) and the unicorn looked up and sai---

[There's a crash and a yelp and a mrrrrooooowhiiiiiiiiiissssss]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That was, in fact, my implication.

Breaking with this exchange, do you have a real opinion, or are you here simply to make stabbing remarks?

I was actually rather curious as to where your story was going, before it was so rudely interrupted.

You can ask Rosella, if you like.

Thank you--I will, then.

He says the king eats the unicorn.

Not raw, I hope.

I wonder what sort of king he is, if he eats unicorns. A dragon, perhaps?

The sort that lives lonely and unhappy ever after for eating the princess, that's what.

If one eats one's companions, I should think one would be lonely.

I suppose it just goes to show that even handsome and clever kings sometimes deserve to be eaten by ogres, just like anyone else.