(no subject)

[wandbreaker]

All right, in honor of stories, and a certain blonde, needy young lady, and the fact that I spent a great majority of my weekend being tugged from place to place, here goes.

Once upon a time, because I'm told all great stories start that way, there was a King. This King was terribly handsome and clever, but he lacked in a great many things: ugliness, for one, but more importantly, he lacked in company. See the King wasn't one to scandalize anyone, because then his advisors (of whom there were many, and loud) would yell at him, and he wasn't keen on being yelled at by anyone.

Even Kings can't make everyone do as they're bid just to keep the peace (they call that war, Rosella, just so you know).

And so the King went into the woods one day and lo! He saw there a unicorn drinking from a fountain. Because the King was chaste (and also lonely) he could approach without getting gored (this is a feat for only the bravest of young men, unless you want to ride one, in which case I hear it says something entirely different about you) and the unicorn looked up and sai---

[There's a crash and a yelp and a mrrrrooooowhiiiiiiiiiissssss]

Comments

[oshutup.livejournal.com]

Do I want to know?

[wandbreaker]

I'm bleeding.

1/2

[oshutup.livejournal.com]

Were you sitting in Shadow's spot again?

[oshutup.livejournal.com]

Disinfect it. He's not exactly house-bound.

[wandbreaker]

I don't know if anyone else in this family understand that the cat does not get a spot over me.

[Snort]

Where's the bloody iodine?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

[...Oh, Edmund, she doesn't even know where to start.]

My goodness! Are you quite all right?

[wandbreaker]

Bloody cat.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. Shadow scratched you?

[wandbreaker]

Like I said, even Kings.

Yes.

voice.

[likeboudica.livejournal.com]

Are you all right, sir?

voice.

[wandbreaker]

I have a cat with a terrible sense of humor.

voice.

[likeboudica.livejournal.com]

Your cat has a sense of humor?

voice.

[wandbreaker]

A very poor one.

[derse-princess.livejournal.com]

Sounds like the cat wasn't enjoying the story. Not that I can blame it. If the King was anything near as conceited as you have made him out to be, he doesn't make for a particularly sympathetic protagonist.

[wandbreaker]

Not really the point.

[derse-princess.livejournal.com]

Then why is his lack of ugliness even relevant?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

That one hasn't much of an ending, I don't think.

[wandbreaker]

Why, Lord Cain, I'm unsuprised you side with my cat.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I've some peculiar sympathy with cats, as well the City knows by now.

[bitesvampires.livejournal.com]

And what does riding a unicorn say about a person?

[wandbreaker]

Something about lack of personality. Possibly about a refusal to speak to women.

[bitesvampires.livejournal.com]

I suppose there has to be some perks associated with such unfortunate traits.

voice;

[7thborn.livejournal.com]

Unicorns sound incredibly like cats. Obviously I wasn't paying too much attention in my Care of Magical Creatures classes if I missed that note.

[She's giggling, but she's actually going to ask after you now, Edmund. Really. She cares.]

Are you alright?

voice;

[wandbreaker]

I have battle wounds.

voice;

[7thborn.livejournal.com]

Oh, no.

[Be serious, Ginny. Be serious. Breathe in, out, straight face.]

Are they fatal?

[... fail.]