wandbreaker | (no subject)

All right, in honor of stories, and a certain blonde, needy young lady, and the fact that I spent a great majority of my weekend being tugged from place to place, here goes.

Once upon a time, because I'm told all great stories start that way, there was a King. This King was terribly handsome and clever, but he lacked in a great many things: ugliness, for one, but more importantly, he lacked in company. See the King wasn't one to scandalize anyone, because then his advisors (of whom there were many, and loud) would yell at him, and he wasn't keen on being yelled at by anyone.

Even Kings can't make everyone do as they're bid just to keep the peace (they call that war, Rosella, just so you know).

And so the King went into the woods one day and lo! He saw there a unicorn drinking from a fountain. Because the King was chaste (and also lonely) he could approach without getting gored (this is a feat for only the bravest of young men, unless you want to ride one, in which case I hear it says something entirely different about you) and the unicorn looked up and sai---

[There's a crash and a yelp and a mrrrrooooowhiiiiiiiiiissssss]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I suppose they hardly could fight a lady for it, anyway.

Oh, well, let me see. I met the god of thunder! And he was very nice, and quite a bit less, er...temperamental than I might have expected. And I met a rather confused boy who seemed to think seasons lasted years instead of months, and a relative of Miss Saya's, and my good friend Penny--you remember her, don't you?

I remember Penny. I didn't see anyone, although Lucy did. I don't know about the others. We're all very distracted here.

I didn't end up seeing my father, but that's quite all right. It's better that he's safe and content at home, anyway.

Well, you can't have everything, right?

No, I suppose one can't.

Though I would like to have the end of your story, if you don't mind finishing it?

What?

Oh.

I've forgotten.

...You've forgotten?

Well I was making it up on the spot!

Oh, honestly, Edmund.

What?

If you were only making it up on the spot anyway, can't you make up an ending just as easily?

I had an ending in mind!

And you really can't remember it at all?

Oh, give me a moment, will you?

Yes, of course, take all the time you like.

All right, all right. So the King sees the Unicorn, who says that she's really a princess under a spell. Of course the King has his doubts because he's a thinking man, and what kind of princess gets turned into such a creature? Also aren't all unicorns male?

So he slays it, eats it, and is lonely forever.

[SILENCE]

[...there are no words.]

...That's the ending?!

I hear unicorn flesh is delicious.

[So say the giants]

Lonely forever sounds like a fitting end for him, then. He only did it to himself, after all.

You don't eat unicorn in Daventry?

We most certainly do not.

After the one we met here I would imagine they're only deer putting on airs.

They're not! And the unicorn I met wasn't at all like the one we encountered here. It was much sweeter.

Peter used to ride one.