wandbreaker | voice//action//carrots

voice//action//carrots

You know today all the carrots in the City seem to be on sale. It made this very easy, and also quite within a budget. But I finally got his Royal Majesty, King Caspian X, King of Narnia, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel, Duke of the Lantern Waste, Duke of Galma and the Seven Isles, Count of the Western March, and Lord of Telmar his rightful tribute.

It's only fitting that his majesty gets his due, after all.

[There is a crate of carrots at the Blue Light. How Edmund got them there is a mystery.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Daventry grows carrots? Like a crop?

No, silly, in our garden! Out behind the back of the castle we have a great big vegetable garden with all sorts of things growing, and so there are always plenty of carrots, among other things.

Oh, well that's far better.

Daddy grew a beanstalk once, too, but those were rather unusual circumstances. And, er, very unusual beans. But there really isn't much use in a beanstalk like that anymore, anyway, since it's so much easier to just take the stairs.

A giant beanstalk?

Mmhmm! Up into the Land of the Clouds. Ifnkovhgroghprm gave him the beans for it, and he went and planted them in a nice little flower garden, and up it grew, as easy as that.

...pardon, who?

Ifnkovhgroghprm? He's a gnome, and an old friend of the family.

That's certainly an...unusual name.

It is, isn't it? That's because it's "Rumplestiltskin", but with a backwards alphabet. Daddy said he had a terrible time of guessing it, since he had to puzzle all that reversing out in his head right there on the spot.

That is ridiculously complicated.

Yes, and imagine how poor Daddy felt! He only got three guesses at it.

Or else?

Did he have any hints?

Er. I'm not sure or else what, really. I suppose Ifnkovhgroghprm wouldn't have helped him, perhaps, but I've never given it much thought, to be honest.

Only two. He'd found a scrap of paper in the witch's gingerbread house that said "Sometimes it is wise to think backwards", which was one clue, and Ifnkovhgroghprm told him the same thing, himself--that he needed to think backwards, and that if he couldn't, then he was an, er...alphabetical imbecile, I think, as he put it.

What did he need help with?

Well, he was on a quest, you see, to find three treasures that are very important to our kingdom, and which had gone missing long before. And he didn't know it at the time, but the beanstalk ended up taking him up into the Land of the Clouds, where a giant happened to be guarding one of the treasures--the magic chest of gold. So really, it was thanks to Ifnkovhgroghprm's help that he managed to recover the chest at all.

Oh, I see.

And after what you told me about the Giants in Daventry, this sounds like something rather important.

It certainly was! It's a chest of gold that never empties, no matter how much you take out of it. Losing it had been just awful for the whole kingdom.

...doesn't that devalue gold?

Er. No? It's not as though we use it frivolously, of course. Just when people need it.

I'll take your word on that.

There are much better treasures to use frivolously, anyway. When they're working at all, that is.

There are a lot of magical treasures in Daventry, then?

Only three! A magic mirror, a magic shield, and the magic chest. And that's how Daddy became king, by finding them all and bringing them back for us.

What do the others do?

voice//action//carrots

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Look, Edmund, it's called Grahamonomics, okay? It doesn't have to make sense.

Edmund says he had to learn all about the GD treasury, okay?

Many before him have tried to convince her that this is not a feasible economic theory. All failed.

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